I see the love of my life in 15 hours. My heart is skipping beats right now.
When The Stranger asks The Dude how he’s doing towards the end of The Big Lebowski, The Dude replies, “Strikes and gutters, ups and downs.” My last few months haven’t seen any strikes and I can barely hit the gutters. I’ve devolved into that guy who goes to throw the ball, but releases it so poorly that it flies up into the ceiling.
In 2013, I took a year off from working in an industry I loathed to pursue my creative interests and shift my career. With this time, I poured myself into several projects that I was passionate about and could envision working out to great success. To survive, I drew from my savings, which diminished faster than anticipated, but I wasn’t too worried. Things looked good. The right people were interested, lavishing praise often. Scrooge McDuck sums of money were discussed as realistic payments. Most importantly, these were projects I proud to put my name on, a feeling not often resulting from work efforts. And then, this month, each fell apart spectacularly, for different reasons, all of which were beyond my control.
Great lessons to learn and worth the read.
It’s taking some getting used to. It’s bound to get better I know. It’s just the first week of being a resident. Rougher than it looks. And way more expensive.
Also, the weather needs to stop with this cold.
Its my first week of work and there is practically no work for me to do. I don’t mind. I’m getting all my online trainings out of the way.
What I don’t understand is why I’m so tired all the time. Emotional exhaustion and aftereffects of physical exhaustion from last week? This LDR is way harder than I thought, I’ve cried every other night talking to my boyfriend. I miss my parents and I don’t really have friends in this city yet — except my brother who has gone to dinner with me once (he’s on an odd schedule). Ok, I have friends, but I’m learning that in NYC, everyone’s too busy to hang out with you. You have to freaking twist their arms to get them to hang out - at least on weekdays - or ask them over and over and over. Strange.
My sister comes to visit Friday and the boyfriend comes a week from today (yay to both!). I’m just really relieved to see two people I truly love. My brother is here but I don’t think he quite understands what I’m going through.